Ravi Ashwin Leaves Tim Paines Apology Text Unopened

“Well, what I don’t know, won’t give me nightmares”, claimed the Indian spinner when asked whether Tim Paine had reached out to him to apologise following his behaviour on the final day of the 3rd test. 

“To be honest, I had a weird feeling about the text when I got it. It came at 1am and the preview said ‘heya ashyy’. Like, wtf”
“Also, I mean, he did call me a dick…head” 
“Does he have a thing with dicks?” 
“Who knows? Maybe”, the spinner went on to add. 
For context sake; becoming increasingly frustrated by the late afternoon session on Day 5 of the 3rd Test in Sydney, Captain Paine engaged in a verbal stoush with Ashwin. Along with middle-order batsman, Hanuma Vihari, the latter had shown incredible resistance to fight off a swarming Australian bowling attack, on a rapidly deteriorating Sydney wicket. 
The on-field confrontation was at full erection when Paine labelled Ashwin a ‘dickhead’, after informing him that he had no friends in the Indian team. Finally going on to confirm that he’ll see Ashinw at the GABBA for the fourth and final instalment of the series. 
In a quick interview with Square Peg, just before his daily Mankad training, the wily spinner went on to draw parallels with an interesting, albeit fictional, condition. 
“Actually guys, does this remind you of that scene in Superbad where Jonah Hill’s character has an obsession with drawing dicks?”, politely asks Ashwin. 
For our readers who may not be familiar with the reference; Hill’s character, in its younger form, passes time by discreetly entertaining a strange compulsion in drawing personified penises. In fact, he’s unable to take pen to paper without first having scribbled a huge humanised cock riding a horse, flying a plane or even planting vegetables in the garden. 
Of course, now, that is a movie. And most movies have nothing to do with mediocre Australian cricket captains, but one might still need to ask the question: 

Does Tim Paine have a ghostbusters lunch box dick treasure chest?