Category: Sports

Having worked from the Atlas Mountains of Morocco to the Pacific shoreline of Mexico and now in remote farm country in the far south of New Zealand, the digital nomad life has been nothing short of rewarding. But it’s certainly not for everyone. Whether you’ve decided to embrace the gig-economy, become a digital nomad or are involuntarily forced to work from home, here’s a sound checklist to make sure you can be as productive as possible in your new office environment.

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Before you begin your remote life

What’s your plan? Write it down.

Being self-motivated during this tenure will be your strongest skill. Can you fulfil the requirements of your job in your new environment? How will you continue to collaborate with peers? Do you have access to the tools and resources you need to manage and complete tasks? If not, what actions can you take to make it happen?

Having a written plan is an underrated phenomenon.

While on the surface it may seem menial, a strategy will keep you honest and help you answer questions about how genuinely productive you can be working from home.

Here are some additional questions to ask yourself before you begin working from home:

• What are the challenges I may have working from home?

• What impact do these challenges have on my daily productivity?

• How can I overcome these limitations/challenges?

• Do I have access to data and resources to complete my tasks, as I would if I were in the office?

• What do I love most about working from home?

• What does working from home enable me to do that otherwise, I would not be able to do?

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Already at home?

1. Establish an office-like space.

2. In your first week of working from home, make a list of the tasks you would like to achieve daily and weekly, just as you would typically do in the office. After one week, measure your success rate.

3.Write down your wins.

4. Note what times you feel most productive. Conversely, note periods of lull and distraction. Review this after week one. Follow this schedule in week two to see if it holds true.

5. As unusual as it may sound, with no imposed breaks or obvious distractions, it might be easier to burn yourself out working from home. Make sure you allocate time for break periods. It does not have to be conventional lunch or coffee breaks. You’re at home now, so choose your time-off when you actually feel like clearing your head or need some fresh air.

6. Exercise during the day. Remember, it doesn’t have to be before, during lunch or after work anymore. Fresh air at 3:30pm with a coffee is great, but fresh air during a workout at 11:00am without a coffee, is unbeatable and a great way of revitalising your mood.

7. Do the things you’ve always wanted to do, but couldn’t get across to doing because you had to commute to work! Working from home/being remote must be something you enjoy and not because you just want to get away from the office. So make sure you’re doing the things that make you happy.

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Red Flags:

1. Cheating yourself! This is a big one. Ultimately, if this is the lifestyle you want, you need to be honest with your employers, but more importantly, you must be honest with yourself. Refer to the ‘Ask yourself’ section.
2. Wearing your pyjamas while you’re working. It sounds great but you’re sending the wrong message to yourself. Just like they say if you can’t sleep, don’t lie in your bed, otherwise your body will habituate to being awake in that bed. Your body is used to comfort and lethargy in your pyjamas, so don’t wear them to work.
3. It’s not a holiday. You’re at work. Type it. Print it. Stick it.

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Due to the Covid-19 pandemic, the world is currently experiencing unprecedented and uncertain times.

Conventions are being tested through unorthodox workplace policies, like employees being asked to work from home. Working from home can be unsettling, especially while tasks continue to build up as you acclimatise to your new environment.

These suggestions and tips will most certainly get you back on the horse and on track to meet your productivity goals in no time.

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Originally published on https://ahimsaimages.com

In scenes sure to confuse anyone who has been watching cricket for more than a year, Sydney Sixers batsman, Jordan Silk, was spectacularly tagged out of his batting innings with the Sixers needing 2 runs from the final delivery in last night’s semi-final against the Adelaide Strikers.

Tagged-in partner, Jay ‘Triple H’ Lenton, emerged from a shower of fireworks and confetti, before hastily making his way to the ring pitch. A boisterous members stand contingent at the SCG egged on Lenton, as he mimed expletives towards Strikers fans on his way to the centre.

Featuring in the ‘Entertainment & Gossip’ column of the daily newspapers, BBL 2021 has truly raised the innovation stakes. First breaking tradition by replacing the coin at the coin-toss with a no-hump bat, this year the BBL caught the attention of sports entertainment megalomaniac, Vince McMahon, with some of its more adventurous rule changes.

“Look, I’ll be up front with ya’ll. Cricket ain’t my strong suit but I like this BBC (sic) thing the Aussies have got going. It needs a little tweaking. But it’s speaking my language”, confirmed McMahon, who had been invited by Cricket Australia to closely observe the Strikers vs Sixers game and provide recommendations for further glitz.

Asked what he enjoyed most about the BBL and what he thought required improvement, McMahon was uncomplicated in his answer.

“Where’s the face paint? Do these players have moves? Tell me. Does Pete Siddle have a knockout move? Is he going to powerbomb the shit out of Moises Henriques? Or is he just going to wear sunnies under a blond wig at 10pm in the evening?!”

Aware of McMahon’s stern point of view, CA made the bold call of introducing the new ‘X-Factor’ rule this season – of course, in reference to former WWE X-Pac member, ‘X-Factor’.

“Yep. That was intentional”, said BBL boss, Alastair Dobson, “We’re slowly but surely moving in that general direction and Mr McMahon’s input has been critical in that process.”

“In fact, we’re proud to announce today that for next season we’ll be implementing all of Mr McMahon’s advice in full. The 2023 BBL final will be played out in an open cell in the centre of the MCG”, announced Dobson, as he went on to explain the rules of the match.

“2 teams. 8 players each side. The teams will compete in a mesh-enclosed arena. The ball will be slightly lighter than the Kooka 156g, yellow in colour and is expected to swing profusely. Batsmen will operate in pairs and play for a total of 2 overs, only being deducted runs as opposed to losing their wicket if they are found to be out”. continued Dobson, before indicating the marquee event was still a work in progress.

“We haven’t finalised all the rules yet. However, we are in consultation with Indoor Cricket Australia to bring you this amazing new version of the game.”

As details emerge of Brendan Taylor’s harrowing bribing ordeal in India, one piece of information was ostensibly left out of the two-page statement released by the former Zimbabwe captain today; the name of the ‘businessman’ who carried out the heinous act.

Taylor’s statement, publicised on Twitter, may as well be the screenplay for the next Hangover film. A boozy final evening with the lads; an early dinner morphs into a drug fest, causing mild memory loss, results in blokes storming your hotel room the next morning trying to get you to do some dodgy shit.

But in Taylor’s case, the actual hangover may take some time to overcome, as he faces indefinite banishment from all forms of the game if found guilty by the ICC. Nevertheless, for the greater good of the game, it’s prudent we get to the bottom of who this elusive Riddler-like figure is that is bribing retiring Zimbabwean cricketers.

Our undercover field agents have been hard at work unmasking the sly culprit. Square Peg can reveal today that the ‘businessman’ at the centre of this Hangover-esque escapade is none other than a part-time chai-wala (a person who serves tea to employees, typically in an office environment), who goes by the unique name of ‘Chotu’.

To find out more about this complicated individuals alter-ego, our top-secret operatives followed Chotu around the streets of Mumbai for a day.

This was their exclusive report:

Rather than sighting Chotu, our ears bled to the hellish sounds unearthed from the delinquent’s throat, as he choked on his toothbrush at the crack of dawn. The ghastly harrumph was soon followed by a symphony of bodily fluids snorted from his right nostril and then left.

After cleansing his stick-like figure with water from an open pipe, Chotu adorned a ‘shirt, pant’ before making his way on foot towards his Chai serving location. Only 50 metres into his journey, the mastermind behind Taylor’s nightmare in Mumbai stopped at a Vada-Pav stand (snack stall). Most likely sharing highly sensitive match details with the stall owner, Chotu gulped down his deep-fried breakfast, pinched and adjusted his crotch, blew his nose with his shirt-sleeve, shook the stall owners hand, washed his hands from a bucket in front of the stall and proceeded to return to his walk…in that order.

When Chotu walked towards a set of tall, spiked golden gates, guarded by twelve blood-starved, barking Dobermans, our worst fears were realised. As our necks tilted back and eyes gazed to the top of the gate, we all but lost consciousness at the sight of the diamond crested placard before us.

“Welcome to the Board of Control for Cricket in India” 

As news spread of India’s incumbent Test Captain, Virat Kohli, stepping down from his position at the helm with immediate effect, across all formats of the game now, some of his harshest critics momentarily rested their swords to congratulate the great batsman on his achievements as the Captain of the Indian cricket team.

“Look, I’ll start off by saying, I still reckon he’s a flog for all that chirping he does. Just play the game nice and quietly mate. That’s how it’s played Downunder”, says Shannon, as he welcomes us into the guesthouse adjoined to his parents home in Western Sydney.

Amongst SENA nations – South Africa, England, New Zealand and Australia – Kohli’s love-hate relationship with Australian cricketers and their fans is, without doubt, the most tempestuous of all.

On his first visit to the island nation, a young Kohli adequately set the tone for years to follow when he infamously demonstrated to a polite and knowledgeable Australian crowd where they could find his middle finger.

From manufacturing eternal friendships with the likes of Brad Haddin, Mitchell Johnson and most recently, Tim Paine; to all-but labelling opposing captain, Steve Smith, as a cheat in Pune during the 2017 series (we’ll cover ‘Kohli, the fortune-teller’ in another entry), it’s been one helluva ride.

Sitting down in Shannon’s bedroom with an ice-cold brew of India’s finest – Kingfisher – the superfan proudly details the wide variety of cricketing memorabilia canvased across the room.

But like a supreme halo, one item glows bright among the rest. A framed, glazed and glassed MRF Genuis stands tall.

“Mate, If I’m being brutally honest with ya, I didn’t really rate the bloke’s batting”, claims Shannon, as he goes on to describe the mounted piece of art.

“Yep, that’s his bat. The bat he used in his first Test as a Captain. Adelaide 2014.”

“I don’t really remember how he went that series with the bat though.”

After being floored first-ball by a vicious Mitchell Johnson bouncer, the master batsman never fell again. Collecting four centuries during the tour, including two in one match in his first Test as skipper in Adelaide, Kohli stamped his authority not only on the game but in some of world cricket’s most hostile conditions.

Before thanking Shannon for the beverage and tour of his Penrith home, we’re taken aback by an oil painting of Virat & Anushka Sharma (his wife), seemingly on their wedding day, hanging from the living-room wall.

“Oh..umm it’s me(sic) wife’s mate. She’s into artisan crafts and fascinated by Indian culture, and all that other corny stuff. Definitely not mine.”

“She’s not here right now, but you’ll have to ask her why Virat and Anushka just look so beautiful and happy, like they’re moulded in the reflection of the God’s themselves.”

“The God’s. Them. Selves”, Shannon suggests, as he wipes away the single tear dropping from his left eye.

 

“Where does this bloke bat for the Hurricanes, mate?”, asks Gary about Travis Head, as the latter brings up his second scintillating century of the summer.

 

 

After 150 years of Ashes cricket, Hobart finally gets its first taste of the coveted Urn this week. But as the historical sporting fixture gets underway on the banks of the River Derwent, many Hobartians were left scratching their heads figuring out exactly who these white-clothed imposters were that had breached Fortress Cadbury.

“Never seen him before. Did they super-sub him in?”, wonders Gary before correcting himself “Oh, I mean ‘The X-Factor’. That’s the new rule the BBL committee introduced this year to international cricket”.

“Bet ya never knew that one – HA”, smirks Gary.

 

Panning the picturesque Bellerive Oval, we’re overwhelmed with a sense of deep but euphoric nostalgia. The eyes roll back as the mind succumbs to memories of pure orgasmic pleasure.

After they culled all the Thylacines, we reminisce about the only good thing left in this fucking state.

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We reminisce:

The invincible, the iconic, the immortal Ricky ‘Punter’ Ponting scurries out to the centre in his pristine, Napisan soaked whites. Like a Tassy Devil; he snarls along the way. A paranoid little fucker, he’s on-alert, looking to chew off the nearest piece of raw meat he can sink his canines into.

He gets to the middle. Scruffs up the batting crease. Hammers down centre. 

Wielding his green lightsaber; the Kooka Kahuna, he flexes; shadow batting on-drives like he’s putting Zaheer Khan into forced retirement again.

Then the ultimate alpha move.

Taking his batting stance, he tenses those whale-dick-big-Chewbacca-like forearms. “Bring it, cunts”, he side-mouths before shooting a ball of spit in the direction of the opposing captain.

Stuart Broad, aka Daniel-San, aka robot-hater runs in. He’s got all of 5 seconds to make sure this ball lands in the right place, otherwise, he’s about to have some whale-dick forearms checking for British anal cavities.

“Back of a length, 5th stump outside-off. Induce the drive, Stu”, he whispers to himself as he leaps to deliver.

Ponting swivels back into his crease. The right foot swerves outside-off, the left points to mid-on.

It’s short, chest-high, 128km/h.

Like a medieval axe soaked in the warm blood of the meek, the Kooka winds back. The arms extend.

‘Cluck’, the sound off the bat.

Sailing across starry Tasman skies, the ball finds its rightful place in the upper deck of the Ricky Ponting stand.

 

“Hey, hey you!”, Gary shakes us back to reality.

“Is it a 10-minute change around after the first 20-overs or what?”

 

On a hot afternoon in the Western Cape, tensions reached boiling point when a Ravi Ashwin LBW appeal was upheld by, on-field umpire, Marais Erasmus. 

As the
Metaverse comes to grips with another nail-biting finish to a Test Match, news
of the astonishing draw in the Fourth Ashes Test once again reminded us of the
inescapable value Test Cricket brings to the sport.

With every
man and his dog informing the twitter-sphere that they also watch the
white-clothed version of the game, it was only a matter of time until the glitz
and glamour of Hollywood caught wind of #howgoodistestcricket.